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By Gary Roberts, December 6, 2009

I think Keaton wins this one, paws down!

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By Gary Roberts, September 10, 2009

The intersection of Bay and King Streets in the downtown core of Toronto can be a busy and treacherous crossing for pedestrians. This is where the Go Train crowds gather as they make their way to work in the mornings, or as they head back to the train station on their way home at the end of the day. One of the city’s busiest intersections has to be Yonge and Dundas, but Bay and King can be pretty damn hairy at times, too.

That’s why—even with the benefit of lights—it’s best to always look where you’re going and check for errant traffic before stepping foot on that asphalt.

I noticed on my way to work this morning that the little fella below mustn’t have been following this piece of advice, and he obviously paid the price on the road at Bay and King for not doing so…

Street art, or road kill?

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By Gary Roberts, July 24, 2009

1.) Take an ordinary-looking van.

2.) Instead of pimping it out with chrome, bling, or any of the other accoutrements you see on some vehicles that outwardly display the maturity of the people inside, fit it bumper-to-bumper in a soothing, green carpet of AstroTurf to calm the senses and pique the interest of passers by on their way to work in the morning.

3.) Slap a strategically-placed advertisement on the side and you suddenly have people asking “Who the hell is Jones Cane Sugar Soda?”

This is what I saw on the way to work this morning, and even though I’m probably not in the market for cane sugar soda right now, it immediately grabbed my attention in a funky kind of way.

I thought it looked pretty cool. A soothing bit of eye candy on wheels on this dull, grey, and very un-summerlike morning!

Click on the image for larger version

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By Gary Roberts, April 2, 2009

I love going to the coffee shop in the mornings during the week. It’s so civilized to sit down with a mug of strong coffee and read what’s happening in the daily paper, or touch base with a good novel before starting work.

What makes it especially sweet is when I grab a side table to move it closer and, just as I take hold of the edge, my finger squishes into a still-moist piece of chewing gum someone has stuck under the top of the table; I presume as a parting gift, left there just for me!

Thank you for that, whoever you are.

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By Gary Roberts, March 6, 2009

There’s a new crazy lady on the Interwebs! She sounds familiar, almost like I know her from somewhere…

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By Gary Roberts, February 10, 2009

After downing a few pints of Strongbow in our local pub one evening, what do you think the hubby writes down on a piece of paper for me as we get home and he wants to give me instructions of some sort? He’s on the phone to his friend in Ottawa at the time, while sipping a glass of wine, so not only is he a bit squiffy at this point, but he also has his hands full with a phone to his ear and a glass in his hand as he talks to Melanie about his troubles du jour.

Even so – do you know what it says?

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By Gary Roberts, April 8, 2008

I wonder how much this dog would go for, on e-Bay?

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By Gary Roberts, March 25, 2008

I was waiting for a streetcar this morning, composing myself for my second day back at the office after the Easter weekend, when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. A guy on a bicycle had stopped at a red light, getting ready to set off once it turned green. I was still groggy from sleep, so at first I wasn’t quite certain what I was seeing–but sure enough, there was a raccoon on his back! It was balanced precariously, somehow just managing to hold on as the cold wind blew at its fur! I couldn’t see its face, so I figured it had its back turned to me. I couldn’t believe the guy hadn’t noticed he had this wild animal perched on his back; he seemed completely unaware of the fact.

And then it slowly dawned on me–the big ball of fur bristling on his back was actually his own hair. A huge mullet, flowing out from beneath his baseball cap as he leaned forward on his bike, waiting for the light to change. I was horrified. I’ve never been a fan of long hair and rattails on men, and let me tell you this one really took the biscuit. This hair was thick and furry. It was wiry and curly, it had a life of its own and it didn’t give a crap about what others might think.

Just as I was beginning to realize I would’ve preferred it if it had been a raccoon, the light turned green and the guy took off with his familiar displayed proudly for all the world to see.